Senior Year...Wait, Seriously?!

18 days and counting until I start my senior year of college. Now I know it sounds all cheesy, but I'm not kidding, the time has flown by. As much complaining as I've done about never-ending classes, papers, and sleepless nights, I'm already nostalgic for those "golden years of college". This is mostly due to the fact that, though I have yet to start this last year, I am faced with the obnoxiously haunting question:

"So what do you want to do with the rest of your life?"

Ah, the joy I feel when asked this. My typical go-to answer has been, until now, as follows:

"Well, I would like to be a book editor who specializes in historical fiction."

Simple. Clear. Focused. This ambitious answer blew away the high school crowd, most of whom were still deliberating majors. My goals were perfectly set: good grades, college, newspaper editor, internship, more good grades, graduate early.

But then, just when I was getting content with my state of blissful naivety- BAM! A 40-ton truck called awareness smacked me head over feet. My perfect plan ended there.

So here I am, frantically raking through my past answers, looking for solutions to particulars like-

Do I go to grad school or straight to a job?

Where do I move, since California holds slim to none jobs in my market?

Will I even get a decent job in such a competitive field?

What in the world was I thinking???

For a chronic planner like myself, this state of the unknown pretty much drives me insane.

But, God...I love those two words. Over and over in my life, I've been catapulted into the unknown of life, forced to rely on His strength because mine is useless in those times. Impossible obstacles present themselves, BUT GOD has provided. And He has shown me to accept this passage:

"So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself."- Matthew 6:34

So I will not worry. I will revel in this final year in an amazing Christian atmosphere, pursuing the majors and spending time with people I love. I will enjoy each day for it's opportunity to see what God has in store for me. And knowing Him, it will turn out even better than I could have imagined.

Time Machine

Today I went to an awards ceremony for my brother's 7th grade class. Two hours of kids going up and down the stage, accepting awards for everything from academic excellence to Mr. Physical Education went from cute to exhausting pretty darn fast. The best part, of course, was seeing Harrison get his award. In between, Angry Birds and I were in a fierce battle of life and death (those pigs just DON'T die!). Nonetheless, the time did give me a chance to reflect on my own middle school experience, and I've discovered a few things:

- Guys and girls are SO different at that age, it's hilarious. The girls belt out shrill screams for each other on every award, while the guys don't say a peep and run off the stage like their butt's on fire. Ironically, I feel like this hasn't changed much.
- Seeing a student's parents gives you a REALLY good understanding of why they are the why they are. Apples certainly do not fall far from the tree- for both the good and the bad.
- Seeing the happiness they have that the year is over and they have absolutely nothing to worry about for 3 months made me, well, a bit jealous! In a couple years, summer jobs and AP work will abolish those carefree, childhood summers. Their position of complete dependence on parents and worry-free times are almost over, so I pray they enjoy this period of their life instead of dying to grow up too soon.
- With all that said, I've realized that there is NO WAY I would ever want to repeat those years!! As much as I loved my 7th and 8th grade years, the awkward crushes, changing bodies, zits galore, and slow, torturous climb to adulthood is definitely not something I'd care to do again. :)

There ya have it! Now I realize I'm literally the WORST blogger ever, with a track record about as consistent as a two-year-old's attention span, and for that I apologize. Hopefully, summer, FB exporting, and pure guilt will give me the push I need.

Until next time...Me.